Roses are red
violets are blue
I adopted a dog
from Christians lab rescue (the husband of the founder)

House broken he is
That I was assured
so imagine my surprise
when he laid down a turd

Not in the back yard
not where he dug
smack dab in the middle
of the living room rug

The pride in his eyes
was not in vain
for he certainly knew
that the pile would stain

off to the stairs
he again marked a spot
this time with pee
and topped off with some snot

"I want a dog"
Olivia hounded me for years
I know what to do
so wipe away those tears

"I will walk him and feed him
and pick up the yard"
I promise you not to worry
so she played the wife card

I gave in reluctantly
Oh yes I did
and Christian came forth
with a puppy for my kid

So I take him for walks
I wake in the night
I pick up the yard
and I do it with spite

I am nudged by my wife
each night in the bed
"the puppy is crying
so get him or your dead"

The toys are scattered
and he chewed up my chair
he cost 60 bucks to feed
and 20 to groom his hair

So I am glad to hear you all like your work
Because I am starting to think one of you is a jerk
So sit back on your couch with the DVR on play
I will be in the back yard shovelling away